ewwwwwwwwww that didn’t taste so good…

Dear lord Jesus and Dale Earnhardt Jr. You have something honking the for right away

“I didn’t sign up for all this SOA season 8 weirdness shit.” “Yeah, kid, John Teller wasn’t really your father, and I’m actually your mother. And Gemma’s an alien fembot.” “Damn, Kurt’s really going all out for an Emmy this year.”

looks like clay got a little to carried away with the new companionship business

I don’t think you are supposed to touch me there! Stranger danger!

You put what on my peanut butter sandwich?

please tell your not my real daddy

you’re gonna do what?

HERE Comes the boom

You want me to do what? And stick it where?!?!?!

Chuck Zito is the real deal 81 Forever 81

OMG Please don’t let “it” kiss me!!

Meth. Not even once.

You’re not my Daddy!

” Excuse me did you just say, You want that guy Clay from Sons of Anarchy? “

Would love to win! Charlie hunnam is so sexy

You mean, in another life, MY mother sleeps with THAT?!?

OMG…..I think I just peed my pants……and its starting to drip…..

Oooooh girl; red is NOT your color.

Somebody save me……PLEASE!!!

Ughhh…. I have to do what?!

“Ron, did you do something different with your hair?”

But mom the other kids will make fun of me !

“You wanna do what?!”

you put pieces of pinny’s what in the chilli?????????????????

You told me it would taste like pineapple……this does not taste like pineapples to me

OMG…please please please tell me no…i didn’t just do that.

I was not expecting this hershey kiss to come out.

Holly Shit! I said No, I said I didn’t want to see that!! (Oh, I see scary nightmares for years!)

Mom… please tell me that I am adopted!!!!

Wait, mom, you are really a man?!?!

So what was I sucking on, when you breastfed me???

“Really?”

Please don’t hurt me, I’m a virgin….

You really have beautiful breast Phyllis!!!

Yum? Yup.

“Okay, maybe I shouldn’t of eaten that.”

You want me to do what?? Hang on I’ll call Tig…that man is up for ANYTHING!

Venus, is that you?!

you freak i don’t want to come to your cat’s birthday party. My dog is getting married that day.

And then one time at band camp…wait u said u put what in my food?

Your custard cannon is showing!

Phil, you in there?

Go in the back, they said. Doesn’t mean you’re gay, they said!

We should have stuck with motorcycles and guns.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an acception.

“You’re not Hellboy! I need an adult!!!”

I may be drunk miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Is that the tranny from last nights soa?

Seriously really !!!

Uhhh, please tell me that’s a banana in your apron!

“You know, Mr. Munster… Drag just really isn’t your calling.”

Clay, when I said we should gone Nero I the escorte service I ment as business partners NOT as escortes!!! Gemma really messed you up when she left you!

They call marijuana the gateway drug, I don’t think this is what they meant!!!

What did you give me?! My tongue is numb.

Charlie: You and Tig did WHAT?!?!
Ron: Oh, don’t act so surprised. You knew this was bound to happen someday. You just didn’t anticipate how pretty i’d look.

ewe! I can feel it in my mouth!

God can you here me? Let me get through this and i promise never to take your name in vain ever again!

What?!?! You went to Venus’ plastic surgeon because he/she gave you inspiration?!?!

“Did you just say you keep your dick in a jar?!”

Loved this movie!

that was not tapioca….

And then we were riding motorcycles and carrying guns and muling cocaine and we were being chased by the mayans and the one-niners and the Feds and the Nords and the IRA and the Russians. Oh Mommy what a nightmare!

“Phyllis, boobs or not, that is not okay, it is never okay, now put that away before I tell Gemma.”

omg was this made with breast milk?

Oops!! Where is the bathroom? I really thought it was just gas.

What in the Hell am I doing here? I wanna go home Now!

You want me to do what? To your What?

Can I take a “rain check” on that? I’ll come back tomorrow…Promise!

That’s not how Venus does it!!

What your really not my mom…your my dad! The lies!

Don’t I know you from somewhere? Have you ever worn leather?

O.M.G., Is this what happens when you can’t be president anymore!

you drugged me and did WHAT to me last night???

I’ve been with a man before, but this is a bit too much for me.

You want to put your what in my where?

Bitch please

Wait what’s the secret sauce??

Dude! It didnt tast anything like you said it would ! What the hell bro! This never leaves this room eeeelllkk!

We did what last night?

I think I just went boom boom…

Uh-oh I shouldn’t have ate that burrito this morning…gotta go!!

Life is like a roll of toilet paper the closer you get to the end the faster that shit goes……

Would you look at that ! Just look at it !

”I just threw up a lil in my mouth”

So your Venus’s Mom???????????

Oh my God…you’re so ugly I threw up in my mouth!

Charlie- “I sucked and i bit it. Look what happen to my teeth”
Ron- “I told you not to bit it shit happens”

Oh my God, please tell me that is not the girl I brought home last night!

Ron, I’m worried! The stress of SOA is really getting to you!! Now you’re dressing in drag?!?! It wouldn’t be so bad if you looked as good as Walton Goggins but DAYUM POPS…..YOU LOOK LIKE LURCH IN A WIG BROTHER, TAKE THAT SHIT OFF YOUR HEAD!!!

I’m really sorry, I promise not to wear ur clothes again!!!!!!!

Venus ” Remember….. the southern belle that don’t tell.”

No, I don’t own any leather, I swear, talk to my buddy Tig…he’ll do it, he does anything.

How do you ride like that…… wait is that Gemma’s dress

Oh dear God did you just………..

Did you steal that from Venus?

Momma always said I was special.

“Clay, having received advice from Venus Van Damme on how to win back Tig’s friendship, runs into a horrified Jax at the new escort service.”

Jesus mom you need to have a shave ! The HRT Tablets are a bit strong.

“Not with Tigs’ dick”.

OHHHHH GOSHH, Please take your finger outta my butt!

What did you eat today? The foam in my mouth….it burns!!,

***3..2..1..BOOM BOOM!*** Frankie; “OHHHHH MY GOSSH, PLEASE take your miggle finger outta my butt!” Phyllis; “Sorry it slipped!”

***3..2..1..BOOM BOOM!*** Frankie; “OHHHHH MY GOSSH, PLEASE take your middle finger outta my butt!” Phyllis; “Sorry it slipped!”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT, I am NOT dressing up as a WOMAN! I REFUSE!!!”

Please loosen your grip Darlin

Hmmm…This is the kind of crazy shit that goes on in Tig’s head. Intriguing!!!! It makes you wonder how he see’s the other members of the MC……In drag too, perhaps?

What do you mean your hand isn’t the only thing I have to kiss……….

(Love you Ron!! I can hardly wait to see the film!)

Are we still on FX?

Holy Crap mom, you’re looking more like Ron Perlman every day!!!!

Wait, you guys said it doesn’t mean I’m gay. You said everyone has done it.

Well I guess if you can’t be president, Queen is next best thing.

please don’t make me do that. i am sure i will have nightmares for ever.

dad..dad…is that you???

I think I just shit myself ,am I going to get a spanking now.

Oh great, not only did I throw up in my mouth a little and crap my pants I’m now scarred for life!

So this what Witness Protection does for you???

Wait a minute……earlier, when you asked me if I wanted to “ride your hog” tonight, you weren’t talking about your Harley?!

This doesn’t taste like chicken…

Clay EWW you made me lose my lunch I know you love Gemma but you didn’t have to dress like her to prove it ..

Ermuhgerd I think I just shit my pants

I know why they call this a “blind date.” Because now that I’ve seen you, I wish I were blind.

Sorry Ron! Next time I’ll remember to knock before I enter your trailer.

Im having De Ja Vu, only your dressed as a Motor Cycle Club President.

Oh, man, next time I get a reunion notice for ‘Queer as Folk’, I’m callin’ in dead!

“Clay i didnt think us taking your patch was gonna hit you this hard man. Get yourself together.”

Did you just say that I’M YOUR SON?

Youre lying… Clay is not my father!! Hes not, hes NOT!!

What the hell is this

Please tell me that is your foot….

“Don’t take this wrong: But you got Problems”

You can be President of SAMCRO again, please do not leak those photos you had Juice take of us! I will never cross you again!

“Oh Damn…that’s Chuckie’s fudge!?!?!”

“i think i just sharted myself”

Clay! Venus had that big of an impression on you?!

You smoked all my weed

Oh god please is rather have a dildo rammed up my ass then having to make out with you.

“You use WHAT as the special ingredient?”

Omg….you are beautiful.

Does this have anything to do with Uncle Fudgie’s fudge?

What have you been smoking!!!!

REALLY DAD? THATS FUCKED UP! YOU SAID I COULD GET NEW TEETH FROM THE FUNERAL HOME THIS YEAR!!!!

OMG!!! I just realized that “SHE” is a “HE”!!!!!!

Dude, I don’t whats worse…You in drag, or the fact that I just “sharted” in my pants….

So which way do you pee? …

I sucked on what lastnight??? you mean your not a woman??? oh my goooddddd!!! im gonna be sick!!!

oh my god, that’s your dick?

“Oh Shit”, “Now I need therapy”.

Charlie: “Whoa!!! Someone pinch me, and tell me I am only dreaming!! ”

Ron: “You should really try it out, I feel pretty damn good in this get up.”

Charie: “Ahhhhh!!! Run away, run away!!”

You want to have a full sex change????????

but you said we were gonna ride motorcycles and be cool!!!

“Dad is that you?” ” What the f*** are you thinking, you are an ugly a** women”…. “Wait till Mom gets home”… Haha!

OMG… I came over for your help… I did not sign on for this… I think I may be sick…

What do you mean your a man i though you were my mom

You said Hellboy..Dude this isn’t even CLOSE to Hellboy.

What the hell you mean “trust me”?

You used to sleep with animals? WHAT

I’ll never be the same again!

Gemma know?? I think I threw up a little in my mouth!!

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Listen Clay I know you’re upset about your breakup with Gemma but I don’t think dressing in drag is gonna help win her back

You mean…you and my mom? You could be my dad?

Wha….you’re my mother, are you freakin’ kidding me…you can not be serious?!!

But I don’t wanna be your Eddie Munster!!!!

Holy shit Clay!!! Does Gemma know you swing this way??????

Clay, besides TIG do you think anyone in the club is going to accept you this way????????

What in the monkey-fuck of cock-jiggling thundercunts are you supposed to be? Oh, Jesus take the wheel.

I try and I try, but my milkshake just doesnt bring the boys to the yard, sniffles.

Omg!! When you said I’d grow up to look like you, I didn’t know you meant a hideous drag queen!! I feel like Pinnochio, I just wanna be a Real Man!!

“Please don’t post the video of us making out on YouTube! You gotta promise me Phyllis.. It will ruin my life! “

What? There is no way I’m telling Kurt you have a “thing” for him! I’m definitely not walking your poodle either!!!

Charlie: Your breaking up with me? How could you? I think im gonna cry.
Ron : I’m sorry i just don’t love you anymore …… and deep down you know it would never have work out between us. I’m just too pretty for you.

You can get your legs how far over your head?!!!!!!!!

Seriously, we really need to talk about some of the side effects of the meds you’re taking, I don’t think I can call you Mom!!!

What do you mean, Its in my blood?

“Your family is poison. Stay Away. BE Honest.”

So you’re saying they slice it down the middle & turn it inside out & it’s a vagina?!

“Oh my God, Becky! Look at her BUTT.”

Ron, I have a feeling we’re not in Charming anymore.

Dude, I said disguise yourself. What happened?
is that a goddamn boob job!?

DEAR GOD! TIG KNOWS ABOUT US?!?!

Charlie- can’t find the tit and thumb i left on the table
Ron- Thats what was in the cooler?? Ooops
Charlie- what do you mean ooops???
Ron- I thought it was the meat for my chilli

“Are you sure that’s the only way you can help me?I guess I should’ve killed you when I had the chance”

“It doesn’t mean you’re gay, we’ve all been there”

Omg you want to do what with me?!?

“Well if that’s what you want, I think you’re Tigs type”

You think he knows? Knows what? That we all know its a fucking guy.

Oh My Gawd, Your hellboy…. why are you grabbing my dick?

What do you mean you’re out of maple bacon bars you little bitch ?!

you can get your leg how far behind your head

“EXCUSE ME, UR MOUTH WAS JUS WHERE??!”

Ohhh geezzz is she really my mother gemma man

Call me maybe?

Comments now closed. Thank you all for entering . Winner will be announced on Friday 19th October..